I once owned a chalet
Near Squaw Valley
When I skied every day of the week.
Once I learned, “bend zee knees”
I caught a disease:
I turned into… an equipment freak.
Alas, the chalet went to wife #2;
I cried for half a day.
But I wasn’t half as blue
As when they took my skis away.
Excuse me, ma’am, have you seen my Chams?
I heard someone saw ‘em at Targhee.
I’ve lost my Spurs, and my X-Max concurs,
My Soul 7’s in heaven without me.
My Powertracks ain’t coming back
My Rossis have all moved on;
Sold my Rangers to complete strangers
And traded Gotamas for coupons.
I don’t recall ever bein’ so blue –
I think I’m off my Rocker 2.
I pine for my Pinnacle 95’s –
But they’re tough; they’ll survive.
But I miss the glide of my Bonafides;
My Fire Arrows, all burned to embers.
My Latigos are now luego,
Somewhere my Sick Days are feeling better.
My Kendo’s kaput,
The iKonic KO’d.
My Chetlers are un-Bent.
My Automatic isn’t,
My Hero is a pissant
And I don’t know where my Nomads went.
Excuse me, ma’am, have you seen my Chams?
I heard someone saw ‘em at Targhee.
I’ve lost my Spurs, and my X-Max concurs,
My Soul 7’s in heaven without me.
My Doubledeck is down to One;
My Instincts have dulled with time.
My NRGy’s not what it used to be;
My Experiences, no longer mine.
I hear my Rock Star’s on the road again
And my Lasers are still going straight.
My MX83 was spotted in gay Paree,
Where it’s dating my Monster 88.
Excuse me, ma’am, have you seen my Chams?
I heard someone saw ‘em at Targhee.
I’ve lost my Spurs, and my X-Max concurs,
My Soul 7’s in heaven without me.
