One of the principal benefits of membership in Realskiers.com is the right to correspond with yours truly one-on-one, that I might address and ultimately resolve your most urgent, ski-related issues. As skiing, in my view, reaches into all aspects of one’s being – sensual, technical, athletic, intellectual and spiritual – no queries are off-limits, although the reliability of my answers increases the closer we hew to my core competence.
In this week’s Revelation and attendant podcast, I want to remind my Dear Readers and Listeners that this unusual access to an unrivaled store of experience in the field perches precariously on a fragile foundation, namely, you.
That’s right, just as in your childhood fantasies, the future we all want to believe in can only be assured by your personal intervention. If the past has taught us anything, it’s that you cannot count on your hypothetical “neighbor” to step up and fill the considerable gap in my personal finances that yawns before us. No, the solution begins with you accepting the inevitability of your role, that saving mankind begins at home, in particular my home, without which saving a bunch of other homes, such as your own, won’t mean much to posterity.
I think a clever soul such as yourself would realize by now the severity of the situation. If this doesn’t describe you, imagine that Realskiers has been convicted of a crime it did not commit and was sentenced to die unless the pardon you’re crafting arrives in time. While you diddled vaingloriously over the finer points of your copious legalese, Realskiers was executed.
At this moment, I want you to pause and feel just how much you’ve disappointed me, and more importantly, yourself. Awful feeling, isn’t it? I’ll bet you feel like you did when you were first caught lying, probably about breaking a favorite vase while rough-housing, or maybe insider trading or Medicare fraud. You see, life, in all its mystery, has consequences. If you believe otherwise, I want to know your secret.
By now, you’re probably wondering where this fascinating train of thought is heading. As in all good mysteries, it’s heading back to you and your pivotal role in my personal journey. You see, you have something I want more of, and who are you to deny me? After all we’ve been through together, the late-night bickering, the pre-dawn caterwauling we can’t even remember the details about anymore; let’s put all that aside and just focus on what you can do for me now.
Ok, here it is: I need more money, and it might as well come from you. Oh, I know what you’re going to say, that you “already gave at the office,” or “you already double-billed me.” True, but that was in the past; that was the Old Me, the Pre-Enlightenment Me. I’m ten times the person now, but only twice as much in debt. You see, I’m growing up right before your ancient, rheumy eyes.
I could yell examples of my plight into your ears at deafening decibels and it wouldn’t make the slightest difference, so I’ll forego the usual auditory assault. Instead, let’s gloss over our past squabbles over who-billed-whom-how-much and get back on point: it’s been a solid ten seconds since I asked for more money and you haven’t made the slightest move to fulfill this simple request. Some kind of friend you turned out to be.
But it’s not too late for us to get back on track, to re-build what we once had! In the misty past, you could have argued that I haven’t provided you with the means to send me extra money unless I billed you several times over for the same service, a practice some prickly subscribers protested.
But that tired argument will no longer hold water, as today we have installed a digital “Tip Jar” right on the Realskiers.com home page! Now there’s no reason not to send an appreciable chunk of your disposable income directly to Realskiers.com, and I’ll take it from there, trust me.
Think of all the money I’ve saved you over the years, not to mention the unquantifiable value of being a Realskiers.com member, instead of some ignorant, self-hating schlub. Now take that money, multiply it by the current rate of inflation and send it back to me, thereby closing the Circle of Life and restoring mankind to something closer to its true, and as yet unrealized, potential.
If that sounds like a big, important job, who’s to say it isn’t? Do your part. Be somebody involved with something that’s bigger than you are, and far, far more important. Under these circumstances, how can you say no? I anticipate that you will soon stop reading or listening to this rant so that you can unclog your mind and send me more money with a clear conscience.
To prove my prescience, I furthermore predict you will stop reading – or listening – in the next few seconds. What you do in the immediate aftermath, alone with your conscience, will matter more to me than either of us can possibly say.
Please, for everyone’s benefit, don’t screw it up. If you donate right now, I can assure you that you’ll experience a surge of self-esteem that will last at least until your payment is no longer refundable.
Amen.
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Just How Strange Will the 21/22 Ski Market Be?
To (temporarily) kowtow to the cult of brevity, the short answer is, “not very.”
To elaborate, most major ski brands didn’t derail the introduction of new products that were in the works well before the pandemic dropped the hammer. There’s a rhythm to the product renewal cycle that shifts the spotlight every year to a different model family within any brand’s global collection; that rhythm was largely respected despite the unique obstacles imposed on the process this year. If most of the models appearing in 21/22 catalogs seem similar to what was offered this year, it’s because this is how the line renewal machinery ordinarily operates.
What’s difficult to judge from outside the R&D pipeline is what we’re not seeing. That is, were there more new models or upgrades to existing star products ready to launch that were put on hold to avoid overloading a potentially weakened distribution network? Possibly; what might have been a planned six-model launch may have been trimmed to three or four, for example.
Happily, there’s no real downside to this scenario for the prospective ski buyer. All essential model family refreshing and line extensions will unfold as forecast. If you haven’t bought a ski in three or four years – I believe the average span between new ski purchases is over seven – the entire universe of Alpine skis is new to you. You may spot some names you recognize, but the skis that bear the name will almost assuredly be different.
“How Is It in The Bumps?”
This question is one of the last objections a ski buyer tosses into the flow of the sale just as the salesperson has guided it to the brink of consummation. To keep the impending close on course, the suave salesperson will hedge the issue with some bland reassurance without raising the obvious retort, that no ski can overcome all the many and curious ills that plague the untalented mogul skier.
A great skier can manage bumps no matter what ski he or she is on. That doesn’t mean experts don’t have favorite skis for this spine-rattling condition, but they don’t need to change skis just because they encounter a bump field. They’ll manage, and chances are anyone watching them won’t be able to tell if the ski is helping, hurting or just along for the ride.
To get the subject out of the way, there are such things as mogul skis, but they’re made for competitors, not your everyday, all-terrain skier. Their tiny (61mm-66mm) waists and svelte sidecuts were common 25 years ago, but they’re as rare as bacon at a bar mitzvah today. Unless you’re planning to compete, there’s no reason for you to fish in this pond.
The Savvy Shopper: How to Buy Skis
Let’s begin with a recap of the fundamentals.
Realskiers’ model selection methodology starts by dividing the Alpine ski market into seven categories, using waist width as the organizing principle for three excellent reasons:
1. This dimension is the single best indicator of the ski’s capabilities.
2. Waist width is a hard number, not a fuzzy concept like skier type.
3. Suppliers product lines align with this method, creating models in every category according a coherent pricing logic.
